Top Ten More Kindle Jokes

Due to popular demand I managed to dig up ten more Kindle Jokes. Some are not so funny but hey, beggars can’t be choosers 🙂
Note: I’ve fixed the formatting inside this table over and over again, week after week but it bunches back up every time I come back to it. Arrrgggg…Gremlins? I guess I’m going to have to create a new template.

Top Ten More Kindle Jokes

  Good Book: A Page Turner
—–
Good Kindle eBook:
A Page Clicker
  Mom: What do you think of my new Kindle?
.
Kid:
I think it’s pretty useless.
Mom: How so? I like using it to read.Kid: Yeah but where’s the camera?
  Q: What do you call an eReader virus?
.
A:
A bookworm.
  Overheard:
Yo mamma is so stupid she bought a repair eBook to fix her Kindle.
  Kindle Owner: My Kindle doesn’t work right, I can’t read in the dark.>>>>>
.
Kindle Service:
Have you tried turning a light on?

.
Kindle Owner: But the Kindle doesn’t seem to have a light.Kindle Service: Next question.
  Q: Why does Ray Bradbury hate the Kindle?
.
A:
Publishers want him to edit the temperature in Fahrenheit 451.
  Email to Kindle Help: Are Self-Help Books available in Kindle format?
.
Email to Kindle Owner:
If I assisted you with this issue,

wouldn’t that defeat the purpose?
  Kindle #1: What did your owner think of the Joke ebook she downloaded? Kindle #2: She never finished it?
Kindle #1
:
Why not?
Kindel #2:
It cracked me up.
  Q: What kind of dog will fetch your Kindle?A: A Golden E-triever
  Q: How many publishers does it take to publish an ebook for Kindle?
A: Three. One to do the publishing and two to hold the author down.

Q: How many authors does it take to self-publish an ebook for Kindle?
A: One hundred.
1 author to write, publish, and tweet about it.
99 authors to Retweet it.

I wish I could cite individual jokes but they came from a variety of places often without a source listed, and most were altered in some way. Some were rewritten from the Kindle boards and some are adapted from well known generic jokes.

Advertisements

Did eBooks Kill Borders?

Many blaming fingers have been pointing at eBooks for driving Borders into bankruptcy. I think eBooks are falsely accused. eBook’s did not really take off in popularity until late 2010-early 2011 but Borders has been struggling for years.

I found a credible answer from retail expert Howard Davidowitz of  Davidowitz & Associates in an interviewed by Aaron Task of The Daily Ticker. (Link to interview.)

According to Davidowitz,  “There were many missteps that caused [Borders] to fail, from holding too much debt, opening too many stores as well as jumping into the e-reader business too late. I think the biggest thing Borders did wrong [is when]”

“[Borders] turned over their online business to Amazon. That move finished them off because they gave away the future.”

That move happened in 2001 when it was about all about printed books sales–Nobody was taking eBooks seriously back then. Kindle did not even launch until 2007.

Bad Business Decisions  Killed Borders Not My Kindle or eBooks. 

When asked about the fate of Barnes & Noble, Davidowitz said B&N faces an uphill battle but, “I don’t believe in inevitable things because I have seen a lot of great changes done in the retail business.”  He said to survive B&N and other business have to “be paranoid enough to embrace change” and “listen to the customer.”  He believes physical bookstores are not going away but there will me much less of them.

Top Ten Most Well-Read Cities in America

Amazon compiled a list of 20 cities based on their sales of printed and Kindle format book, magazine, and newspaper sales for the first 5 months of 2011. Only cities with populations over 100,000 were used.

Amazon’s rather arrogant assumption is that their sales data reflects the reading habits of all American readers, including library users and others who do not buy reading material from Amazon but do indeed read regularly. Perhaps their data does represent a liable random sample similar to the Nelson ratings, perhaps not.  The problem is better data is not available since,

Book Publishers and Bookstores are notoriously
stingy with statistical data for the buying habits
and demographics of their consumers.

My point?
If Amazon is the only one compiling and sharing data, then their statistics are all we have to use. (Just another nail in the coffin for traditional publishing practices.)
So on with my Top Ten Tuesday List:

Top Ten Most Well-Read Cities in America

1. Cambridge, Massachusetts

2. Alexandria, Virginia

3. Berkeley, California

4. Ann Arbor, Michigan

5. Boulder, Colorado

6. Miami, Florida

7. Salt Lake City, Utah

8. Gainesville, Florida

9. Seattle, Washington

10. Arlington,Virginia

Cities 11 through 20 on Amazons list; Knoxville, TN; Orlando, FL; Pittsburgh, PE; Washington DC; Bellevue, WA; Columbia, SC; St. Louis, MO; Cincinnati, OH; Portland, OR.